


Light Reflections

by thedoctorsmelody



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, Stream of Consciousness, post episode 25
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 08:40:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16829014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedoctorsmelody/pseuds/thedoctorsmelody
Summary: Light, after.





	Light Reflections

You know, sometimes I wonder what life would be like had I truly won. Oh sure, in a sense I did win, you died and I lived, and maybe that’s what truly matters. It stings, though, that I wasn’t truly the one to kill you, that I only discovered your name after the fact of you death. Victory would have tasted so much sweeter if I had been the one to write your name in the note, if I had been the one to discover your name. 

Sometimes I imagine how you would react to what I am doing with your name, the way I pretend to search for myself using your title. I wonder, would you be angry? Would you seethe with rage the way I sometimes saw beneath that cold expression? Maybe we would fight again, or maybe not. I haven’t physically fought with anyone while owning a death note you know. I haven’t needed to. No one can make me quite as angry as you did.

I remember the day you died like it was yesterday. I remember the way you looked in the rain, how you spoke of hearing bells that did not exist anywhere but your own mind, the quiet afterwards, when we dried off before the end. Did you know you were going to die? Sometimes I think that surely you did, surely the bells you heard were your own. Everything moved slowly yet all at once that day, the day where my only match was killed by a Shinigami who was stupid enough to love a human and pay the price for it. 

Sometimes it feels like it’s not real, that I imagined you or that you will walk into my office with that ugly slouch of yours and sit next to me, and we will continue working on the case as though it were still real, and you will be eating a disgusting amount of processed sugar while staring at me like you used to. 

I’m not sure if it is you I miss, or simply the challenge of it all. Even when my memories were lost to me I got to play against you, to fight you, to debate with you. Oh what it is to not be bored. I remember it so sweetly, even more so than the win.

L, would you have caught me? Would you have killed me like I killed you? Would you miss my presence like I miss yours? Or would you simply remember me as a great adversary, a gap in the monotony, and not miss me at all? These are questions I shall never know the answer to. I will not be seeing you wherever you are, be it heaven, hell, or oblivion. 

I wish I could stop myself from wondering.


End file.
